Truth about COTS

This is a response to some of the criticisms, especially to the courageous article of Shmuli Pollen.  I am stating from the outset that I believe that Shmuli is completely sincere in his article but I think he is mistaken in his position.  If what I write sounds critical of him or hurtful I apologize in advance.  I will try to give an objective reply to his points, and not a criticism of him.

The reason I am writing this anonymously, is that unfortunately, I have already been branded with all kind of derogatory terms and been treated like some kind of outcast cult member.  The firing of good honest Mashpiim in our community only makes the fear that much greater.  However, my anonymity in no way diminishes the validity of the points I am about to make and anyone who makes comments about that fact is only continuing the irrational hysteria instead of focusing on the facts.

This is going to be a long article, but I ask of you, just as you’ve read the long articles before to take the time to read to the conclusion and read with an objective perspective.

To help the reader keep track, and to help make sure I cover all the points in a clear way, I’ll number them.  These are in no particular order:

1.     To set the record straight with all the comments and replies to the articles, I want to make it completely clear that the 2 Rabbonim of the Beis Din that gave a Psak did NOT Pasken that it is Avoda Zara and when I asked Rabbi Braun point blank what the A”Z elements in Shofar are he personally told me that the B”D never issued a Psak on that.  It still remains to be clarified what specific issurim in Shulcahn Aruch are violated in the workshop.   The Psak states that according to Halacha one may not participate, but no one has articulated the actual halachic isur to my knowledge.

2.     Most of the arguments made against COTS can just as easily be made against most psychological therapists and therapy methods that are endorsed by the community. For example:

a.     The “facilitators” and “sponsors” at 12 step programs do not have “credentials” and training.

b.     The founders of 12 steps were believing Christians

c.      Most therapists out there treating our community are not vetted by rabbonim to ensure that their philosophies or methods are in line with Chabad Chasidus

d.     Therapists and other programs of wellbeing are exactly for that – to help a person with their wellbeing and ability to lead happy productive lives.  One could argue just as has been said in regards to COTS that Halacha should be the most important and not one’s happiness.  As such, these therapies are contradictory to Chabad.  But the obvious fact is that the reason one goes to a therapist is to help them with their wellbeing, therefore there’s no room for criticism in that regard.  THAT’S what they are going to the therapist FOR.  Likewise with COTS, the purpose is not to get help with Yidishkeit, but to help ones psychological wellbeing.  So the fact that the workshops are not stressing halachic observance is irrelevant.  In fact a non frum individual can benefit exactly the same way, and even a non Jew, lehavdil. 

3.     Among the comments out there, is that those who say COTS is “kosher” are not experts on A”Z (which the B”D has anyway not said it is) nor on methods of these LGATs and therefore only the experts can weigh in on this.  Nevertheless, when Shmuli Pollen described his personal experience and opinions on the matter, nobody is saying the same about him.  Also, for clarification purposes for those not familiar with the workshop, a “Staff” member does not mean that he in any way works at the organization.  It means that he participated in a workshop weekend, and is now coming back to help.  He does not have more credentials and is not more of an “expert” in the sense that somehow the fact that EVEN a staff member admits it was wrong has more validity.

4.     In the debate about COTS it seems that people’s minds were already made up despite the facts and then the facts were twisted and distorted to support the agenda.  For example: One complaint is that “Quick Fixes” are not healthy, and do not work. 

Nobody ever said the COTS is a quick fix.  On the contrary, it is stressed dozens of times at the workshop that this is purely a “peak experience” and that the real work in improving ones wellbeing begins after the weekend and is a life long process.

But then the attack comes the other way: This proves it is dangerous.  They don't just want you to go to a weekend.  They make you dependent on lifelong “meetings” and you never get out of it (once more think 12 step programs).  In other words, COTS is bad if it’s a “quick fix” and it’s bad if it’s a life long process.

5.     The COTS hysteria did not come as a result of seeing hundreds of Lubavitchers “frying out” or families being destroyed, or swarms of bochurim dropping out of yeshiva, or any other negative effects and then tracking it all back to the common denominator of all those having been to the workshop.

On the contrary, for the last couple of years (and COTS has had workshops for almost 10 years before it become so popular in CH) many people have gone and have seen tremendous advances in their personal lives and relationships, so much so that they shared this with people they cared about and suggested it to them.  There was no hysteria and concern until the last couple of weeks when an interview sparked a debate and then a fear was erupted about the dangers that WILL result, not that HAVE resulted.

Of course since then a handful of ANECDOTAL cases have been brought up to “prove” the devastating results.  Such examples are either out of context or the result of individuals that have real issues as most of us do.  It is not a result of the workshop. 

The real fact is that the majority of people that have attended have NOT left their Yiddishkeit or in any way weakened.  And had they not disclosed the fact that they attended, you may not have even known it.  And those very few that may have Ch”V weakened, it is very likely that this was already their issue before and should be addressed regardless of their participation in the weekend. 

Some claim that perhaps this is true, but the fact that COTS catalyzed their actual weakening is proof of the danger.  This is also a fallacious argument since unfortunately every day we see people in our community weakening in areas of their Yiddishkeit.  So the fact that this particular individual happened to go to the workshop does not in any way prove that the workshop was the cause.

6.     Some will say that the fact that it brought good results does not justify using these techniques.  Even if A”Z helps, it is assur.  That is irrelevant because as stated, no one has shown this is A”Z and people are just perpetuating the myth.

7.     Furthermore, there is a huge misrepresentation of the techniques themselves as will be addressed later.

8.     The argument that all the answers to all the questions can be found in Tanya is proving that people are misunderstanding the goal of COTS.  If we are looking at COTS as a spitirual direction and guid to fulfillment then that would be a good point. But the fact is as staed already, COTS is a method of psychological wellbeing, not spiritual, religious, philosophical or any other.  If we ban this, then we should truly ban any kind of therapy outside of speaking to a Mashpia for everything, including things like marriage counseling.  Nbodoy would ever tell a couple with marital issues to find their answers in Tanya.

9.     Shmuli makes a claim that most Shofar participants chose a “more relaxed form of Judaism”. This is a totally unfounded statement and may be even serious loshon hara against a large tzibur.  In our out of town Chabad commuity I know of almost a minyan of Anash who have attended and not one of them has shown any lowering in their level of observance.  If anything, some of them are davening more B’arichus, being misbonen more in Chasidus, and generally trying to work on their yidishkeit.  These anecdotal stories of “I know a guy who went to Shofar and…” are really meaningless in the face of reality.

10. He writes that in Judaism “Happiness is found within Halacha”, while in COTS it is “found outside of Halacha”.  This is a very sad misunderstanding of the concept of unconditional love and being a chelek elokah. 

Just as in Chinuch we raise a child to believe that he or she is good no matter what he does and we love him or her unconditionally, while at the same time teaching right from wrong, likewise, a person needs to know that his value is unconditionally good - and this stems from the fact that the Aibershter created and loves him.  “Yisroel, Af Al Pi Shechata Yisroel Hu”.  At the same time his actions are of supreme importance in the fulfillment of his purpose in the world and he is demanded of to observe Hashem’s laws.

In COTS a person is striving to reach that feeling that he is a worthy individual regardless of his actions.  This does NOT mean that his actions don't concern him as Shmuli seems to imply.  He quotes Tanya showing that if a person doesn’t care about his being a Rasha he will end up coming to Kalus.  Again, with all due respect, it seems that he completely misunderstood the Alter Rebbe. 

The Alter Rebbe is discussing a person who doesn’t care about his LEVEL of being a Rasha which is a result of his LEVUSHIM (Machshava Dibur and Maaseh – which are what determine him being a Rasha), not about one who doesn’t care about his Etzem which is a Chelek Eloka.  The goal of COTS is not to bring a person to say that my LEVEL is good enough and my LEVEL is worthy as it is. But rather that my ETZEM which is a chelek elokah is good enough regardless of what I have done in the past.  This attitude does not minimize a person’s observance but rather infuses in a person the feeling that he matters to Hashem and therefore he wants to fulfill Hashem’s ratzon!

As opposed to the person who feels that he (his ETZEM) is worthless, (or at least not good enough without others’ approval) and therefore becomes lax since “anyway I don't matter so what’s the point of my mitzvos” or he continue to observe in order to get approval form others.  (True, Hama’aseh hu haikar, and it’s still better to observe out of misery than not to observe, but that is not the discussion.  The issue is will he continue to observe if he feels he doesn’t even matter? Rather, when he feels he matters he has more of a desire to observe and live up to his purpose in the world).  See the Maamer Yaviu Levush Malchus from the Tzemach Tedek…

11. Part of the problem is that many people seem to be seeing Shofar as an alternative way to get happiness and spiritual fulfillment, and as Lubavitchers this is absolutely unacceptable.  This argument is a gross misunderstanding of the purpose of the workshop.  In my opinion, COTS should be seen as any other form of therapy which helps a person be psychologically healthy SO THAT they can have a spiritually fulfilled and happy life in WHATEVER SHITA of life they follow. 

In other words, the workshop can be done by a Lubavitcher, by a Litvisher, and as mentioned even by a non observant person, and the result is that they will approach whatever Shita they believe in from a more well adjusted and healthy perspective. 

It's a complete mistake to think that just because there is a “philosophy” involved that it somehow is a religious movement. Once more, 12 step programs are a comprehensive way of life, but at the same time it is not a religious movement and every type of Frum Jew can be found in 12 steps programs as well as, lehavdil, non Jews.  Frum Jews who work the steps often feel like their Yiddishkeit and relationship with Hashem is more real and meaningful.  It’s NOT a replacement to their Jewish Hashkafa.

12. For someone who attends the workshops so many times and makes it into a religion or Shita, I can understand how suddenly he can begin to feel like perhaps he made a mistake.  Perhaps he misunderstood from the beginning and because of his previous psychological and life challenges this became an escape and he became too dependent on it.  This is not a sign of the dangers of the program any more that when we get “meshugeneh baal teshuvas” “joining Chabad” in very unhealthy ways that actually end up destroying their lives and relationships.

This situation can result anytime someone goes “overboard” in an unhealthy way with any endeavor in life.  And when that becomes their life goal you end up with an unhealthy situation.  This is not a problem with COTS but with some people that do this.  The fact is that that overwhelming majority of people that go to COTS do not get obsessed with it.  And even those that go to the advanced workshop does not mean that they are obsessed.

13. As far as the “Cult” claims, there is absolutely no basis to this. For the VAST majority of attendees, it is a once in a lifetime workshop and they never return for the follow up workshops.  And even if they do, if it is established by all the other points discussed here that the program per se is not bad, then there should be nothing wrong with following up and continuing to work with it.  I’ve never heard of criticisms that people who go to therapists weekly for literally years, and spend thousands of dollars every year are in a cult.

Again, to set the record straight for those not familiar with the workings of the program, there is the original workshop, and then if desired, people can come back to “Staff” or attend an advanced workshop.  But that’s about it as far as “attending workshops”.  Many people confuse the “meetings” that go on afterwards with the actual COTS workshops. 

Since, as mentioned earlier, COTS is not meant to be a “quick fix”, it helps to meet together with each other on an ongoing basis or occasionally and I’ll describe these meetings shortly.  But I want to clarify that these meetings are NOT Shofar meetings.  They are NOT part of the organization and are completely independent and are basically just chevre that have attended that then get together with each other on their own.  There is no money sent to the “Shofar Headquarters” and no commitment to the organization whatsoever.

On occasion, some groups do ask one of the facilitators from the organization to come guide a meeting and they do pay that person for their time.  This money goes directly to whoever facilitates that meeting – not to the organization - and is basically enough to cover the transportation costs and whatever any reasonable person would expect to be paid for an hour of consulting.  That’s truly the extent of it.  Again, the majority of meetings don't even have any facilitator come and are simply run by the chevre themselves almost identically to 12 step meetings.

14. As for what goes on at these meetings and why they are private it is very simple.  Participants generally sit on chairs in a circle (very much like a farbrengen – except without the table in the middle, farbeisin is sometimes on a side table).  People will share with each other a particular incident or situation in their life that they are being challenged by and using the ideas practiced at the workshop (I’ll elaborate below) help each other come to a healthy resolution or perspective on it.  Very much like what Farbrengens used to be for us in our early Baal Teshuva yeshiva experience.  This is very much in the spirit of Chabad of “Ish Es Re’ehu Ya’azoro”.

This is also the obvious reason why these meetings are private, as people will often share personal matters.  Lashon Hara is generally not an issue since if done properly, the methods (again as I’ll describe a little below) really focus on what my part is in the issue at hand and not what the other person did to me.

15.  In regards to the techniques employed at the weekend, it seems like much of the rhetoric and hysteria is based on a leap of faith:  Simcah Frishling participated in Landmark, and therefore the techniques at COTS are the same and therefore they are bad.

Although there are some external similarities, they are in truth not at all the same.  A basic technique used in Landmark is to “crush” a person.  Where the facilitator and/or group speak harshly or yell at the participant until he breaks down and often cries.  The idea seems to be that you break them down and then “rebuild” them properly.  As one “expert” claimed in a previous article here that “it’s no Chochma to break a person, but then you need to know how to put them back together {and COTS people aren’t trained to do that}”.

a.     Yes, there is screaming and crying sometimes at COTS.   Just like there is screaming and crying often at therapy or Farbrengens when people begin to understand their pain and confront  difficult challenges or past experiences.  However, the way that they come to this is diametrically opposite from the way it is done at Landmark:
At Shofar, no one screams at the participant, rather it is the participant that will often scream or get emotional as expected when confronting strong emotions. 

The facilitator helps the participant find in himself what was hurting and the person becomes aware of this.  The facilitator may try to help the participant define and feel the pain associated with it in a clear way, but it’s only whatever he on his own expresses.  Never is an issue “labeled” onto a participant from the outside nor does the facilitator “diagnose” the participants problems, as Shmuli writes.

All along the group does NOT say anything to the participant.  Nobody screams or says a word to him.  The most they do is that they listen and perhaps give a hug at the end (as Chassidim will do after an emotional farbrengen in which they feel they’ve gone through a powerful experience together).

16. In regards to the issues of Yarmulkas falling off and profanity being spoken:  Once more, Shmuli described his own feelings about this and for some reason the commenters seemed to have taken this as fact.  The fact is that when I saw the Yarmulka fall off of the head of the facilitator it bothered me as much as it bothers me when I play basketball and someone doesn’t stop to pick it up – I have always felt uncomfortable about that.  That is perhaps a chesron in the facilitator’s observance, or perhaps his choice since stopping in the middle would be distraction to the participant he’s engaging with. Either way this is simply a silly argument.  I see anash in our community that when their Yarmulka falls off they don't rush to pick it up.

Likewise for the profanity. Unfortunately, and nobody here can honestly deny this, I hear profanities like this in OUR SHUL often enough and certainly in the streets of CH (not just from the non Jews). Yes, this did bother me and it continued to bother me.  Again, this may be due to the level of observance of the facilitator, and since I did not come to them as religious or halachic guides or mashpi’im, I didn’t feel this was an issue that had a profound effect on the validity of the workshop. 

In fact, of the two facilitators that were in our workshop only one of them used that language and the other did not at all.  And furthermore, the pamphlet given out at the beginning of the workshop states clearly that they ask of everyone to avoid unnecessary foul language, why some people don’t may be a fault in them, not in the program and it does bother me.

17. In regards to the non Jewish Music – again to clarify for those that have not been to a workshop – there are a few activities in which music was played (not on Shabbos of course).  I happen to agree, and this is certainly a valid point, in my opinion, and can be suggested to the organization.

But let’s keep it in perspective.  Again this is not a Chabad organization and we are not going to them for religious guidance so it’s not surprising that this would happen.  I’ve been to therapists that also use music as part of their therapy and would ask them to use different music if possible.  This is not a fundamental aspect of the workshop and is not at all a criticism to be counted at all, simply a good idea since so many of their participants are Chabad, they should cater to their customers.  I see this very much like when I go to a dentist and there is music to help create a calm atmosphere.  As Lubavitchers we don't ban those doctors, and when possible it makes sense to ask them to use different music.  (In regards to Jewish music see important point in next paragraph).

18. A further complaint is that there is no talking allowed and that this is part of the mind control techniques.  So once more to set the record straight and give some clarity and calm the hysteria, allow me to describe what is meant as “not allowed”: 

When we first arrive we are asked not to talk. This was definitely a strange experience.  And to tell the truth, the entire weekend was a strange experience. But strange does not mean bad.  We later were told that the purpose of not speaking is to create an atmosphere that would not be produced if everyone is just “schmoozing”, and this is very true.  However, let’s qualify this “prohibition”.

The atmosphere at the workshop is very laid back.  There are no “guards” watching and in fact only two people that are actual employees running the show.  They both joke around and are extremely friendly.  As a result, many people do talk here and there and no ne is reprimanded and no big deal is made of it.  The idea of silence is more of a strong suggestion and it is actually enjoyed by most, but no one felt “prohibited” from speaking.

Furthermore, due to this non speaking, I never had a Shabbos filled with so much Chassidshe niggunnim.  Imagine two full Shabbos Seudos (I’ll explain in a moment why only two) with 30 guys together and no one is talking.  What else do you do?  The niggnunim were so powerful like back in the days of Seder Niggunim in Yeshiva.  They asked us not to speak but did encourage singing. 

Also, to keep perspective, it’s not like it was total silence.  The idea of not speaking was only between activities during “breaks”.  During the activities there was quite a bit of talking and interacting with each other, with room for questions, answers and discussions.  Again, it was very laid back and not as some imagine it a dark, constricting, controlling environment.

Furthermore, this no speaking was only for about half the weekend.  By Shabbos afternoon we resumed normal conversations so that the last day and a half was not at all in silence. 

The same can be said about the “no clocks and phones” policy.  Anyone who wanted to (and a handful of people in my weekend did) were able to look at their watches and phones. Nobody took away any possessions from us. They simply asked us to put our watches and phones away, and most did because – duh – we came here willingly to get the most out of the weekend, so why not try and partake in the activities. 

19. In regards to the “sworn secrecy” claims, this is completely distorted.  The only thing secretive about the workshop is any personal information that a participant may say. You are asked not to share that with anyone else which is completely reasonable.   Likewise, you are asked not to tell who else went.  Anyone can say that they went themselves.

20. The problem seems to be that since this is so unknown and mysterious, that in people’s minds a scary cultlike image has been woven, when the reality is that it was a very comfortable and enjoyable experience.  In Morristown the workshop is held at a very expansive property with huge windows so that you almost feel like you are outside overlooking the beautiful mountains surrounding the area.  Lots of time was available to wander outdoors on the property as well as use the pool for a mikvah.  The food was amazing, with lots of snacks.  No sleep deprivation or starvation tactics were used whatsoever.  We were woken up very early, but not earlier than many people get up for davening on a normal work day (as I could tell by the sun coming up, so it was probably about 5:45), but we went to sleep early enough so I actually ended up sleeping better than I do at home very often.

Notwithstanding all that, it was very powerful and emotional, but that is the result of what we wanted to achieve - personal growth and learning of tools that will help our psychological wellbeing. But it was never in a way of coercion or harshness (except for the fact that we confronted our own selves). 

The guys that ran the workshop are young chevre (Simcha was not even at my workshop) and one is even a bochur.  Hardly a mind controlling power hungry guru.

Now I know that this will be used by the commenters as a proof of the danger. Such a young inexperienced person giving “therapy” can be dangerous.  But that kind of fear is simply from misunderstanding the methods used.  The main “technique” is actually very simple and can be done by anyone that practices a bit.  It’s really something that friends should be doing for each other all the time (and it’s what we do for each other at the meetings).  I’m not going to go into it at this point, but for those familiar with 12 steps, it’s very similar to step 4 and 10.  12 step participants do this all the time with each other, with no “therapist” involved at all.

Likewise, criticism has been made that Shofar is not a fix for all ailments and that damage can be done if people are getting the wrong treatment.  This is a very unsubstantiated claim.  COTS clearly say this is not a fix for every problem and a number of things people brought up that they wanted to deal with , the facilitator clearly told them they need to get other professional guidance on.  An example was a person with an addiction who was told that this is not a substitute for addiction therapy.

21. Shmuli tries to create a “Philosophical” conflict between Chabad and COTS. This is purely his interpretation.  He says that Shofar changed the purpose of our life and that somehow Hashem is no longer the center and now it is all about me.

Once more, Shofar is not meant to be our religious direction in life.  Rather it’s a perspective that tells a person – regardless of his religious beliefs – that to do whatever he believes, it is more meaningful when the person is healthy psychologically.  For me as a Lubavitcher, that means that my goal in life is to make a Dira B’Tachtonim.  When I am healthy and happy I can obviously do this more fully.  It does NOT mean that until I am perfect in my mental and psychological wellbeing I do not need to do mitzvos. 

If this was the understanding that Shmuli or any individual took from that, it is purely their interpretation and I wonder why they even had the Hava Amina that Shofar should have anything to do with their religious beliefs.

True, there is discussion aobut Hashem in the idea of COTS, but once more, the same can be said about 12 steps programs.  That does not mean that it is a religious program.  It is explained at the workshop about the idea that Hashem has a desire to be meitiv, and that for this He created separate beings, and then the greatest Tov that He can give is for one to unite back with Hashem.  That is true that COTS says this. But again, let’s keep this in perspective.

a.     This is completely in line with Chabad approach.  Yes, Hashem DOES have a desire to be meitiv as is brought in many seforim.  Is this the ultimate Ratzon? No, rather the ultimate is Dira B’Tachtonim. But that does not contradict that at a “lower” level Hashem wants to be Meitiv.

b.     The greatest good that a person can have is to be Davek in Him – Ich Vill nit dein Gan eden…mer nit az dich alein”, and this can only be achieved in a state of wellbeing “Ein Hashchina Shora Ela Mitoch Simcha”

c.      None of the above means that this is the ultimate purpose in creation.  We all know that the ultimate purpose is Dira B’Tachtonim by doing Iskafya and Ishapcha and bringing the Schina down and bringing Moshiach.  Ok, that’s 100% the kavana in Briah.  But that does not contradict the above.  COTS does not claim that the ultimate purpose is to be happy because I can be in dveikus with Hashem. There is no contradiction.

22. Shmuli also states that the facilitators tell us that the feeling that many felt when working through our issues was D’veikus.  And then he implies by this that this that the workshop is cult like.  With all due respect, that is flat out false.  He seems to be confusing the idea that achieving D’veikus can only be achieved when a person is in a place of wellbeing and therefore able to connect to Hashem, with the fact that we just took a step TOWARDS getting closer to a place of well being.  Never once did I hear even an implication that “Ah, now embrace that feeling – that’s G-d! (or D’veikus)”.

23.  People who are not into it were never “pressured to leave”.  I don't have any comments on this point except that it is totally false.  I never heard anything about telling people to leave.  In fact quite a few people have said that they went and did not participate or did not participate fully and simply sat around and observed.  Some later got involved when they felt comfortable enough to, while some remained aloof and were not asked to leave.  This is not true.

24. A very important point that needs to be put out there is the concern people have that they are trying to control minds and get participants somehow “hooked” on Shofar so (presumably) they bring in more people and hence more money.

a.     First of all, as an organization, it makes perfect sense that they would want to bring in more people.  This is an amazing opportunity for people, but the people running it also need to make a parnassa.  There is nothing wrong with marketing and getting more people to come to a workshop if it is providing a good service.  I guarantee that no one has become anywhere remotely rich from this.

b.     It is stressed a number of times at the workshop that COTS is not a way of life and that one should not become obsessed with this.  The words that they ended off the weekend with were “Don’t become a Shofar nut”.  For those of us that attended, it’s so obvious that it’s silly when people express a fear that somehow they’re out to recruit everyone and make them mind controlled zombies.  It’s so unfortunate that the very techniques that really help a person can be seen as sinister, which leads me to the final point:

25. In all honesty, I do admit, that such a setting in which people become vulnerable can be dangerous.  And therefore I believe that the “experts” in cults and mind control ,etc etc who have made statements about the supposed dangers of COTS are being sincere.  (Some are claiming that it’s politically motivated or that it’s a fear that outside organizations are becoming more relevant than our own, but I personally believe that their fear is sincere). 

It is true that such methods can be abused.  However, that whole discussion and concern would have been appropriate Lechatchila.  Perhaps two years ago when more Lubavitchers began attending, or maybe even ten years ago when it all began.  But at this point, B’dieved, after it’s already been shown that the people running this are not taking any power, making millions, controlling people’s lives, destroying marriages and making people abandon Yiddhskeit, it really becomes a moot point.  At this point the fear is simply generated by

a.     The unknown.  The nature of the workshop is that it is private so that understandably creates a suspicion. But enough people have gone and anybody (even Rabbonim) can go (and have gone) to see for themselves.

b.     Misconceptions. Rumors, half stories, misrepresentations, misconstruing of actual events and activities that go on.

c.      Personal attacks on the founder.  Yes, he has been involved in various organizations that are not good.  So have many Baalei Teshuva Mashpii’m.  But it needs to be understood that we are not going to COTS for spiritual guidance and the techniques themselves as explained already are not the same as those other sources.

In conclusion, I’ll say that at this point, I don't believe that my article will change the direction that has begun.  The fear and irrational witch-hunt that has evolved has taken on a life of its own.  Short of a significant personality or Rav in our community standing up and taking an honest look (not by hearsay or “speaking with many people”, but seeing for himself) and then making an objective statement or Psak, nothing will likely remedy the damage.

I am not a spokesperson for the organization and have no direct benefit or loss if COTS continues or not.  Rather, I am sad that a very useful opportunity that can really make significant improvements in many  people’s lives has now been lost.  I imagine that many who were weighing if to go or not, now in light of the hysteria have decided not to go. This is very unfortunate.

So why am I writing this article?  Two reasons:

A.     For those who have gone, I know many people are now doubting themselves and having regrets about having attended.  While until now they felt tremendous improvements and achievements in their lives since going, feeling happiness that they were seeking, improvements in their relationships and elevation in their level of observance, now it is all unraveling and some feel like they need to “purge” themselves of the terrible influences, to “detox” as people are now saying. 

It’s almost like they’re saying they need to go back to their “old” selves.  I wonder what that means if they felt they are became less critical of people, more accepting of themselves and others and happier.  Does that mean that now they need to go back to holding grudges, putting themselves down, be distractred by emotions rather than focusing on how to handle issues?  Is that how they need to “Detoxify” themselves?

To those people I’m writing this and hopefully give some encouragement that even if our B”D has assered this, do not feel like you made a mistake.  In light of all the above, I think we can all continue to live with what we have learned and continue to grow and take advantage of the experiences we had.  We do not need to be ashamed or feel guilty.  We were not taken advantage of and no damage has been inflicted upon our souls.

B.     For those who have not gone, perhaps seeing another perspective will at least create a crack in your convictions that COTS is terrible and that those you love who have attended are not “poisoned” now.  Even if I have not convinced you that COTS is a positive thing, perhaps I have given you enough doubt that maybe, just maybe, it’s not as bad as you thought. 

May we all work together to increase our collective wellbeing as a community and work together to bring happiness to each other so that the Shlichus the Rebbe has placed on us to bring Moshiach will be successful that much quicker and with that much more unity.  Moshiach Now!